Probably not

Maybe one day you'll learn.

I should get that tattooed on my hands.

IT'S DECEMBER TODAY

AND it snowed enough for people from Florida to go 'fuck?!' and realize their state is placed where the sex organ of the nation as a whole would be.

look at a map, I don't lie.

Also, some fogies looked outside and went 'balls!?' because there was no school today, just a whole lot of winter at once.

For those of us with four classes in a jagged-bleary-eyed row, this is very good news. Rivals the time I read about Easter and thought 'crap' but then realized that it's actually all about candy. Or that time I went to a birthday party at a lake and it was me and eight girls or something.

That was a very special time.

Not like that pasta filled with weird white vegetables that looked like cheese that I only realized were vegetables AFTER consumption. THAT was a shitshow. Not literally of course...I mean christ is this cauliflower? Plastic cauliflower? What am I supposed to do with this?

It's like licking a vegetarian who doesn't shower.

In other news, there's a web-exclusive video about George Clooney on being sexy on MSNBC.

You'd think they could've just found a bear or someone from the 'saouth' named Opie with Lyme disease. ALL HE DOES IS SQUINT, DOES NOBODY ELSE SEE THIS? Maybe it's because he formerly suffered from Bell's palsy, but it's probably just what having air up top looks like.

He's a liberal that liberals look at and go, 'uh, no thanks. We'll just find a bear-spokesman. Where's Opie? No, George. We gotta find him a puppy or something.'

Here's a tip Cloonster, might want to lean in close; I'm going to whisper.

Making fun of the head of the NRA isn't the best idea I've ever heard. Those people love their guns. Hell, they made a club about it.

and let me just say,

worst Batman ever.

Nos vemos.