a special note

If I ever say 'bitch.' at the end of anything; It is NOT directed at a person. I use it as an expression, because the English language is so easy to manipulate.

A girl at Klotsche made me get a new ID because she couldn't see my picture on the old one. My picture comes up on the screen when you scan it, dwid.

in that context I guess it is safe to assume that it's directed at a person.

looks like

I respect people more if they have facial hair. I don't know why...it's a kind of distinguishing characteristic that flips on my 'he must be all right' switch.

I noticed this when I saw a Jack's Mannequin video and Andrew Mcmahonwhostever had a beard and a moustache. I thought he was kind of girly before, but now I like him. Go figure.

One guy I keep seeing has enough hair on his face to fill a neanderthal's asscrack, and that I do not like. He seriously has hairy EYES.

Do I wear a suit to a concert where one of my pieces is being performed? yes? no? relative to the situation?

bitch.

Certain Things That Should Never Be Said By Certain People In Certain Situations

In an effort to rescue this from becoming an actual blog...I'll revert to a different kind of thinking I do each day.

Pyrotechnician: "Oops."

Dentist: "Does that bother you, nannerface?"

Surgeon: "WTF is that?!!? LOL"

Pilot: "It's five o' clock somewhere"

Anyone of any relation if you're pretending to be someone else on the phone: "Thank God you answered; I'm so horny"

Doctor: "Your wife suffered great spinal injury and she is now a C4 quadrapeligic. She will require round the clock care and it will be very expensive. Ha! Just kidding; she's TOTALLY dead."

Cousin: "Well, at least we're not brother and sister" (YOU create the scenario. it grosses me out to)

English Children: (just about anything)

Propane Tank Examiner Guy: "Well there's your problem. Leaky tank. I like to smoke."

Guy That Walks Into Funeral: "Oh hey everyone...Is this where the cockfight is?"

Guy In Response To Guy That Walks Into Funeral: "Well...sort of"

Guy Upon Hearing That His Sister Is Now A Vegetable: "Let's eat"

Guy Picked On By Terri Schiavo In High School: "Punch me back this time, sleepy!"

Alex Trebek: "You did good. Your a smartypants." (know that the incorrect form of 'your' was used on purpose, nerds)

Porn Star: "Come here often?"

Girl Watching Tattoo Artist Tattoo A Different Person: "Aww you're so sweet to use my name." (this one happened to me)

Astronaut: "Haha Jerry's such a clown...We told him that you can take your helmet off in space and he ACTUALLY DID! What a lameface. Oh, there he goes."

That Guy Across The Hall That ALWAYS Sits In The Lounge On His Cell Phone: "No way dude; I don't always sit in the lounge on my cell phone."


That's it for now. I'll do parte dos if the thinks I think allow. I'm going to eat three bananas for breakfast today.

Something that you might not know yet, America.

I got a tattoo. On April Fools' Day. I really like it, and I hope that one day everyone gets a tattoo so he or she can see art every day instead of just those days when a trip to the art gallery is made.

It stings. I just know that it's going to hurt tomorrow. Oh well. Just wait until my mom finds out...