Certain Things That Should Never Be Said By Certain People In Certain Situations

In an effort to rescue this from becoming an actual blog...I'll revert to a different kind of thinking I do each day.

Pyrotechnician: "Oops."

Dentist: "Does that bother you, nannerface?"

Surgeon: "WTF is that?!!? LOL"

Pilot: "It's five o' clock somewhere"

Anyone of any relation if you're pretending to be someone else on the phone: "Thank God you answered; I'm so horny"

Doctor: "Your wife suffered great spinal injury and she is now a C4 quadrapeligic. She will require round the clock care and it will be very expensive. Ha! Just kidding; she's TOTALLY dead."

Cousin: "Well, at least we're not brother and sister" (YOU create the scenario. it grosses me out to)

English Children: (just about anything)

Propane Tank Examiner Guy: "Well there's your problem. Leaky tank. I like to smoke."

Guy That Walks Into Funeral: "Oh hey everyone...Is this where the cockfight is?"

Guy In Response To Guy That Walks Into Funeral: "Well...sort of"

Guy Upon Hearing That His Sister Is Now A Vegetable: "Let's eat"

Guy Picked On By Terri Schiavo In High School: "Punch me back this time, sleepy!"

Alex Trebek: "You did good. Your a smartypants." (know that the incorrect form of 'your' was used on purpose, nerds)

Porn Star: "Come here often?"

Girl Watching Tattoo Artist Tattoo A Different Person: "Aww you're so sweet to use my name." (this one happened to me)

Astronaut: "Haha Jerry's such a clown...We told him that you can take your helmet off in space and he ACTUALLY DID! What a lameface. Oh, there he goes."

That Guy Across The Hall That ALWAYS Sits In The Lounge On His Cell Phone: "No way dude; I don't always sit in the lounge on my cell phone."


That's it for now. I'll do parte dos if the thinks I think allow. I'm going to eat three bananas for breakfast today.